medium crazy

new for fall

Apparently Christian Siriano sent a model down his Fashion Week runway like this:

Modeling can be a dangerous business, y’all.

anyone?

Ever get the feeling on a lovely Friday afternoon after weeks of miserable rain that EVERYONE else has snuck out of the office early or is “working from home” (said sarcastically) and you’re the only chump still sitting at your desk?

Ever walk out of your house in the morning, happy because it’s sunny and nice outside and it’s Friday and it’s “jeans day,” and get into your car and turn it on, and then the Check Engine light suddenly pops on as if to to say “Good morning!”

anyone?

Do you ever indulge in a fantasy about calling in sick or otherwise taking a free day all to yourself and what you would do with it? I’ve never actually done it for real, but here are a few of mine:

• The couch fantasy day: An hour of Gilmore Girls followed by an hour of Intervention, alternating on and off for ten straight hours. It would be a weird but I suspect fabulous juxtaposition. Naturally, couch fantasy day is interspersed with delightful snacks.
• The reading fantasy day: Pile of books you’re dying to read. Start off reading in bed in the morning until you get tired again, nap. Move to the couch, continue reading, nap when necessary, then continue.
• The shopping fantasy day: Call in sick. Outlets. Gift cards and excess money (like, say, Idol Pool winnings) allow for guilt-free shopping. Everything looks great, fits perfectly, leave feeling like you have a new wardrobe.
• The food fantasy day. Pretty much what it sounds like, and the guiltiest of the fantasies. Varies by person. Perhaps pancakes with cinnamon for breakfast, lunch out that obviously includes french fries, annie’s mac and cheese for dinner, chocolate chip brownies. Not that I’m talking about myself or anything, I’m just giving some examples. This fantasy is also what I envision pregnancy to be like.
• The cleaning fantasy day. Might sound weird, but this one I often long for and have sort of done. A whole free day to clean without giving up your precious weekend time = strangely and awesomely satisfying.
• The beach fantasy day. For when it’s 85 and sunny and it’s like a Tuesday and you just say screw it and head for the beach. I’ve never done this one because I have such crippling work attendance guilt, but it sounds lovely.

anyone?

So I was at the mall last night, and I realize these are mannequins, but…headless babies just don’t seem right in any context.

I’m like, OCD

For the four days I was “baby” sitting Julia, she referred about 20 times to things she’s “OCD” about. For example, she’s OCD about accepting or ignoring all facebook requests immediately, so she almost fell over when she saw that I had about 100 requests on my facebook page that I hadn’t gotten around to and immediately began hitting ignore for all of them. She’s also OCD about recycling and composting. Anyway,  saying “I’m OCD about it” has just become a way of saying ”This is something I’m mildly quirky about.” So, in the spirit of keeping up with the kids these days, here are some things Julia would say I’m “OCD” about:

• If any little piece of clothing is sticking out from a drawer, I always have to remedy the situation. Clothes fully contained in drawers please.
• I’ve done the same nighttime face washing routine for fifteen years and I would skip it only if hospitalized or otherwise incapacitated.
• If I can’t check my email I become convinced that the Most Important Email Ever is waiting for me. I’ve been known to drive to the public library during email access emergencies.
• Mixing the dinner forks in with the salad forks and the soup spoons with the teaspoons. But they’re different sizes. And you’ve mixed them together as though they are interchangeable. This is the sign of a person with no respect for law and order.

Yours?

not to be insensitive…

Is it just me, or did the Times phrase this headline to make it sound like a Weekend Update joke?

anyone?

use the FREE SUPER SAVER SHIPPING!!! as an excuse to buy more stuff from Amazon than you originally intended?

anyone?

still feel entitled to snow days? Like…how could you possibly expect me to go into work? Don’t you know it’s snowing??

anyone?

Ever have a day at work so tediously boring that you contemplate sitting outside in your car just so you can listen to your ipod? A day when you realize you’ve read the internet in its entirety? When you’ve organized your purse, updated your planner, and gotten a snack just because the chewing will give you something to do? A day in which you are feeling a lot like this:

anyone?

The amount of hair that takes leave of my head during a routine shower sometimes truly frightens me.

anyone?

ok, did everyone else know that in Word when you hold down the alt key you can do “fine tuning” to place things exactly where you want them? And if so WHY DIDN’T YOU TELL ME????

ever notice

that all American white girls born in the 70s/80s have one of four middle names: Ann, Lynn, Marie, or Elizabeth. I’m Elizabeth; my sister is Anne. What’s with the lack of creativity, Mom and Dad? If there’s anywhere you can go batshit crazy without much consequence, it’s the middle name.

On a related note, apparently the new super common middle names for girls are Rose, Grace, and Nicole. Well how lovely, blah blah zzzzzzz.