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how I have been sleeping like Mariah

I’ve been sleeping like Mariah lately, which of course means sleeping in the lap of luxury and according to my exacting specifications. I have finally created my close-to-perfect sleeping environment. The perfect sleeping environment is in a soundproof sealed plastic bubble on the moon. This is the next best thing.

You would probably describe my bedroom as “really loud.” I describe it as “drowning out the voices in my head.” My perfect sleep environment includes the following: A king-sized bed and and least four feet of distance from my husband (sorry but, it’s necessary). An air conditioner at 68 degrees. A ceiling fan. A small fan on M.’s nightstand blowing on him. A standing fan on my side blowing on me. Yes, three fans. Blowy the sound machine on my nightstand. A set of earplugs in my ears. And of course my pillow, which has an indention perfectly shaped to my head. SLEEP HEAVEN. Yes, we have many electronic devices on in our room lately and that is probably a bit wasteful. But these are the ingredients to a great night’s sleep for me and they are all staying on. Cool air, white noise, and foam shoved in my ears. Long gone are the days when I would lie awake for hours because of a damn bird. I finally figured out the way to conquer noise that keeps me awake. MAKE MORE NOISE.